February 22, 2016

Dearest Amon James,

My friend Tom spoke to me about his grandmothers’ story that when their people, the Cherokee and Muskogee Indians, were forced to leave North Georgia and walk the Trail of Tears to Oklahoma, the people of their tribe were concerned about leaving their stories behind.   The stories of their truth, their history and their relationship to all the animals, plants, rocks, sky and water of the area.  But they consulted the council grandmother, who reassured them that when they arrived in Oklahoma they would have new stories and new relationships with to all the animals, plants, rocks, sky and water of that new area.  So they must leave their truth behind.

“But Grandmother,” they cried.  “What if the white man steals our truths. Where shall we hide them?  Under the ground?  In the trees?   Behind a rock?”   Grandmother did not hesitate to reply to them.  She said, “our truths will be held in the most sacred place of all, where no one can get to them.  These truths, or these stories, will be hidden in a sweet dream.  No one can take them away from you my children.  So whenever you want to find them, all you have to do is look inside a sweet dream.”

Last night, my son, I found you.  I found you in my sweet dream.  And you ran to me, and I held you with all my heart and all my love, tightly in my arms.    I know that we will never be lost from one another, Amon.  You can always find me, just as I will always find you, inside a sweet dream.

I love you today and always,

Your Father

 

 

Dear Amon,

Today is Valentine’s Day and I am halfway around the planet from you in Amsterdam.  I’ve been in Sweden and The Netherlands this week.   And passing by windows of displays with everything heart shaped, from cookies to pillows to notepads,  I can’t help but thing of #amonsheart and my practice of posting photos around the world with the little fuzzy heart in my hand.   While a substitute for having you with me, it’s a great way to feel connected to you when I am so far away.   It helps me to know that on the other end of this little heart, is it’s nest – a slightly bigger heart, hanging by your crib – and in that crib is YOU! One day soon to be united [soon to be moving into his big boy bed].

They say that absence makes the heart growing fonder.  I don’t think that is true for the love of a parent towards a child.  My fondness for you was a full vessel the moment I laid eyes on you in that hospital in Walnut Creek, 2 years ago last week.   And the only thing that has changed is the intensity of that love as I know you with every passing day, month and year.   I can’t wait to watch your life, my son.   I can’t wait to see all the ways we are different, and learn what you are passionate about and what makes you tick.

So, on this day of love and loved ones, I send you the biggest heart from The Netherlands.

Love, Daddy

 

 

Dear Sweet Amon,

Happy birthday my son.  Today is February 3 and you are 2.  It seems like yesterday I was waiting for your birth in the room next to your Mom and Jo, which you were being delivered.  It was an exciting and happy day.

I love you with all my heart and celebrate this day with you.  It was the day I became your father, making me the luckiest man.   I am thrilled you are here and can’t wait to see the rest of your life unfold.   It is going to be a grand adventure.  We will learn a lot from each other, undoubtedly.   And good or bad, it’s all a gift.

So here’s to two, and ten and twenty and fifty.   I hope to be here for them all.  But even on the days I am not with you in person, I am still with you everyday my son.  One day, if you become a father, you will understand what that means.  A child never leaves your heart for one second.   As I shared with you this fall; I may leave, but I will always come back to you my child.

Happy birthday.

Love, Your Daddy